Let's see.....It started off with a bang and only 4-5 hours of sleep. This time I have no one but myself to blame, I did a little socializing last night. Zoie had to meet the bus at the school for another peewee tournament game at 8:00 a.m. on a Sunday. What???
I cheerfully launched into a good barncleaning and leisurely milking when Jude runs out and says,
"Papa is coming with the hay and wants a 1/2 gallon of milk." Well it's the least I can do for my Dad bringing me some hay and all. So the milking seriously picked up the pace, with me running in place tugging on cow collars. They can't be hurried you know, just plodding along. I did get him his VERY fresh 1/2 gallon of milk.
Then we needed to load some manure for a friend. I had to threaten Dante within an inch of his life to leave MY 3 year old aged and composted manure pile ALONE and take from a different pile. C'mon girls, you all have a prized manure pile right?
While making feta cheese, I decide to try this workout from Self magazine that claims I'll be "bikini ready" by June. I somehow manage to pull a muscle in my left butt cheek. You don't realize how much you use that left butt cheek until it is in agony! I don't know if I'll be bikini ready by June----but I'll probably be martini ready LOL!
Looking for even MORE punishment, I escape with only Zoie and Ayla and a jogging stroller to go for a power walk/run on the trails. It was good---except for that pulled muscle I mentioned. I kinda had to do an improvised power limp.
We almost made it home in the car when suddenly Ayla just explodes and starts going ballistic screaming and crying! I didn't know what the heck was going on but I stupidly tell Zoie to unbuckle and get back there while I'm swerving around and screaming myself. Then Zoie says,"Mom I see flashing blue lights!" I now have been admittedly driving erratically with 2 unbuckled children in a beat up minivan going 10 miles over the speed limit. But when I look in the rear view mirror the flashing blue lights look strange and the vehicle is pulling a boat. Huh??
I pull over, swearing like a sailor, and know my goose is probably cooked with good reason--but I really thought we were having a medical emergency! In my side view mirror I see a uniformed officer, but he's wearing shorts and a fisherman hat. Okay.....
He asks if I know why he pulled me over. I tell him I was probably all over the road, but I thought my 3 year old diabetic was having a seizure and then I did a brief synopsis of her history of seizures and my PTSD reaction to a certain scream she does. I got a stern talking-to, a slap on the wrist and he was on his way. Buckled the kids back in, and then Zoie says, " Did we just get pulled over by a GAME WARDEN?" " Yeah....it looks that way" As a green game warden truck pulling a boat roars off down the highway. That was a first.
The afternoon sun was shining in my room and my bed was looking so gooooood....before I knew it I had hopped in and pulled the covers over my head. In the distance I hear a pounding on the door and then Dante yelling, " Jess! I need you and Zoie the bulls are over at the neighbors!"
You HAVE to be kidding me! We jump in the van and race next door to see our biggest bull scratching his neck on the corner of the neighbors house. Sweet, really sweet. I leap out and wave my arms and clap my hands. Nothing. He stares at me and lowers his head. Okay. I fly back to our house grab a nice big stick and go back, by now Dante is there and we give chase. Did I mention that one side of my butt is in serious distress? Try hopping through tall grass with the fear of a bull smashing you in front of your kids and the neighbor kids with a pulled butt-cheek muscle! We got them back in and now I'm gonna make some homemade pizza.
Overall, not too shabby. Quite entertaining actually. A good day!
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Gotta love real life with humans and bovines. ;))
ReplyDeleteSounds like last Thursday night, our four steers left through an elk broken gate, showed up a half mile away in our leased/soft worked hay field. An 88 yr old, a 78 yr old and three of us in our mid to late fifties trying to drive four clueless and wilful steers all of us on foot. First we tried to push them into the horse pasture, but because we had buckets to lure the steers our two riding horses galloped bucking along the fence line and the steers informed us THEY did not belong in there with those lunatics.
We had to walk them back across the side hill to their original break out. As the light failed...then jackleg barbed wire back together when you can't see the devil's prize metal sticker vine!
It was the kind of night you end up thanking God no one had the video going. I'd hate for any one to know what I told Freckles, Jersey, Blackie and Spot about themselves. Or what I think about broken barbed wire fencing. ;))
Too funny! Yes, I've had countless moments where I've been so grateful there was no photographic evidence it ever happened. My kids are always there though and will gleefully recount the story for ya!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the story I can picture it so clearly!
Hope things have settled down for you! ;-) Never a dull moment, huh?
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